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Monday, June 3, 2013

It's In My Purse

Hello my dear brave blog readers. Today I am going to take you to a place few dare to go. A place even my husband refuses to enter (for fear he may put his hand into a half-eaten jelly sandwich, pulverized goldfish, or an unwrapped tampon). I am going to take you into my pocket book. Please take appropriate precautions – rubber gloves, hazmat suit, etc….

See, it is time to change purses. And, in the spirit of self-deprecating and humorous excuse-airing I have decided to share this momentous occasion with you. Because, dare I say it, my pocket book is probably some metaphor for my life although, lucky for you, I’m not really going to analyze the meaning now. Instead, I’m just gonna dump it out here on the table so you can have a good laugh at my expense:

  1. A church bulletin. 
  2. 2 sided 8 x 11 florescent green sheet on Daniel 4 and King Nebuchadnezzar’s pathway from pride of self to praise of God and how we too can do this. 
  3. A Thank you card.
  4. A receipt for Marshall’s.
  5. A letter from my son’s preschool dated May 23rd. 
  6. 3 ripped ticket stubs for dance recital dated May 25th and the envelope for the tickets.
  7. 5 x 7 of my daughter that I purchased at her dance recital.
  8. 2 loose Express gift cards I received on Mother’s Day and the two card holders they came on.
  9. Business cards for my local moms club as well as my own personal business cards. 
  10. My cellphone.
  11. My wallet.
  12. Two of my children’s wallets.
  13. A wallet containing all my shoppers-club cards.
  14. My camera.
  15. My Kindle.
  16. Large book light received as a free gift from Writer’s Digest books circa 1999.  
  17. 1 used tissue. 2 pieces of toilet paper. And one questionable paper towel.
  18. 2 almost-dry Sharpies.
  19. 1 yellow highlighter and 1 uncapped blue highlighter.
  20. 2 pens, 1 dissembled pen and 2 pencils.
  21. My daughter’s inhalers.
  22. A Pepcid tablet for my dog.
  23. A travel toothbrush.
  24. Hand sanitizer.
  25. Sunglasses.
  26. A pony tail holder.
  27. An 80 piece bag of gum.
  28. A bank lollipop.
  29. And the trash from 2 lollipops, 1 piece of gum, and a granola bar.
  30. My car keys.
  31. Some sort of doohickey that I keep forgetting to ask the kids if they know what it belongs to.
There you have it folks, a quick peek into my scatter-brain disorganized world. In the interest of full disclosure, I will have you know that I cleaned out my purse last Saturday between Acts at my daughter’s recital.


  1. sounds much like my purse... minus the dog pill and inhaler. :)

  2. I can't believe you have TWO Express gift cards, UNUSED, in your purse!! I'm foaming at the mouth. What I could do with those!

    1. I know! I know! That's what happens when you live too far from the mall. Oh, and it's summer and you are home with your kids all day!